Victories big and small

Because we homeschool, we have enrolled TH in a social skills class just for homeschooled children who have Aspergers. How is that for a niche? From what I've seen so far, TH seems to have some more "intense" features of autism than some of the other students, although he is less prone to outbursts or needing to take a break in the designated peace room. He's also the one who suffers--at least outwardly--the most significant social anxiety, but now that we're on our sixth class, that has diminished somewhat.

I'm loving these lessons because the group that runs them is so good at what they do. With each successive class, TH has emerged more and more talkative about his experiences and even able to articulate what other children felt during the classes. They have a session at the end of each meeting during which each child "brags" on another child in the class, and TH has experienced another sort of...triumph?...related to these, as well.

To explain why I use the word triumph, I must backtrack a bit. TH often notes, with what appears to be a large dose of self acceptance mingled with a trace of wistfulness, that while his BFF seems to have a number of admirers, TH's life has so far limited him to one. This particular admirer was, well, possibly not a child who'd appear at the top of anyone's crush list. TH was, in fact, rather mortified at her openly mooning over him in kindergarten, and although I empathized with his wishing that some other girl a little higher on the social ladder would crush on him, I also was secretly grateful to the little girl for noticing our boy.

Time passes, and crushes move on. He's yet to experience, at least to his knowledge, the attention of any other young ladies. I know that he has had a few little heart explosions of his own, all unrequited, and that's the full history of his nine-year-old experience with luv.

Enter social skills. There are two girls in the class, a fact that generated a great deal of eclat among the four boys on day 1, as they eagerly awaited the arrival of the girls while expressing either great trepidation or insincere nonchalance. The girls never showed.

They did show for the third class, and one of them, a little slip of a thing in great clothes and, I kid you not, a little cloche-like hat, seemed to have taken a shine to my oldest boy. At least, he thinks maybe she has. She's bragged on him twice now, and, as he does not hesitate to point out, has bragged on no one else in the class. Even I, the not-so-alert-to-these-things mother, noted a bit of...attachment as they emerged from the class this last week. And TH, while vigorously denying any requital on his part, modified that with a "maybe just a little tiny bit of a crush."

So sweet. Isn't it? Every child I meet who expresses any inclination to befriend my son immediately has my undivided sympathies. I find that inclination hopelessly endearing. But to see it coming from a girl--and TH's interest seems to be girls--is to see a teensy glimpse of a possibility that some day, someone will see all the good that is in my son and become his best friend and soul mate. Just a little glimpse. If she happens to be rather fashionably attired and wearing a cloche hat, I'm cool with that, too. Just as long as she isn't a Republican. I keed. I keed.

As if the "teensy bit of a crush" weren't enough, TH's pendulum of positivity swung over to the large side with another success he had with his social skills class. This one involved an arranged Saturday outing with a group of six children, not the same kids as in his weekday class. They went fishing, and of all the unbelievable things, TH caught the biggest fish anyone's ever caught on one of the trips. A huge bass. Even onlookers unassociated with the group came over to view it. TH was so full to bursting with excitement about it that when we picked him up after the outing, he exploded with details of every single person, place, thing, experience, and emotion he could remember from his adventure. We'd never, ever witnessed anything like it.

From teensy little crushes on tiny little girls to catching the biggest fish of the bunch, for TH, this social skills class has been a huge success, one big and small victory at a time. And, by the way, he's learning social skills, too.